Archive | February, 2013

Joy, A Willing Victim…the beginning

22 Feb

13 at my first youth club dance where it all started!

13 at my first youth club dance where it all started!

>Me, wearing my new home made outfit for my first Tin Mish dance at the Christmas party December 1964. This was also the night I had my first sexual experience when I let that lad feel my budding tits.

It all started the Christmas before my 13th birthday. It’s a magic birthday that isn’t it? That age that marks the point we cease to be a child. My husband recalls not just his bar mitzvah but what was to him far more important; long trousers. ?! He tells me that at his school they were not allowed to wear long trousers until they went to the upper school the start of the academic year after their 13th birthday. But, when he went home at weekends and school holidays as he was now a man he couldn’t get out of his school uniform quick enough! Now allowed to wear long trousers he wanted to be seen in public as much as possible, strutting his stuff!
For me it was going to the tin mish/ youth club Christmas dance. As I would be 13 on January 20 and, as my older sister was a popular member they bent the rules and let me attend not only the tin mish dance but also the youth club Christmas party.
I had recently started my periods too; I was no longer a child, I was a young woman, a teenager. I felt so grown up!
It wasn’t long after I started going to the youth club and the tin mish dances on a regular basis (every week) that I realized how much I was in my sister’s shadow. There were six of us; 5 girls and the last born was a much longed for brother. I was the second born and I did not want to be known as one of Carols younger sisters anymore. It never bothered me before, being in Carols shadow but now I really began to resent the “Carols sister” tag. I wanted to be me; I wanted to be known as Joyce in my own right. I wanted to be ME! After all, I was a teenager now so the other three sisters should be MY younger sisters and in my shadow…How was I to achieve that?
The answer was to slowly evolve from that encounter on my first visit. The fact that a lad wanted to kiss me and feel my tits made me feel so grown up also I had recently started my periods and my breasts had started to swell enough for me to start wearing a trainer bra! I was more than eager to let him; to show off my new forming tits.
What a crushing blow it was when after letting him feel what I thought were nicely budding tits; my tits. He said he didn’t know why I bothered as I was titles. He also took my hand and put it on the front of his trousers “Let’s see if you can still make it worth my while” he said. I was so shocked by what I felt I pulled my hand away and then he just walked away. I was quite upset by that and followed him back into the hall. He joined his friends and I joined mine, all the time trying to pretend that all was fine. It soon became apparent that he had told them about me as for the rest of the evening whenever they went past or near me they would rub their hands over their chests as if they were looking for something. I felt so embarrassed…though it was probably only me that new what they were on about. I resolved there and then that I would never let him have another go. No way was he ever going to have another chance to feel my tits or even kiss me, come to that!

I soon bounced back, though, and eventually I would dance with whoever asked me and if they were to ask me outside for a kiss I quite eagerly agreed. I think because I never refused a request to dance the lads were not shy to ask me. It soon became apparent that if I liked my dance partner and they asked me outside for a kiss I would seldom refuse. It soon became obvious to me that my now rapidly swelling breasts were attracting the boy’s attention so it wasn’t long before I let someone have a feel. This time there were no complaints and as I was so flattered by the attention if I liked a lad I would invariably encourage them to have a feel. As I became more sexually active and let more lads have a feel so I became more and more popular with the boys.
Therefor it wasn’t long before I was out of Carols shadow and I became “Joy” not “joy, Carol’s sister”. But its only now, after looking back and thinking about these events that I can see that there were many reasons for this change. I had lost sight of the fact that she now had a regular boyfriend; she was to be with him for more than five years and that her attendance at the mish dances would become less and less finally to end when she and her boyfriend went to university.
She was often cited to us girls, by our father, as the model of rectitude and perfect behaviour that we would be all the better if we were to follow her example; especially me! I think he had a good idea what I was up to as to him I was too popular with the boys and had a different boyfriend every week. The irony, to me, is that the first time I fucked I was fucked(I think, it may have been more!) by four lads; she was to marry four times also that I was to be fucked by as many in one day as she was to admit to have fucked in her whole life!
My other sisters have all married several times too whereas although I have no idea of how many I have fucked or been with I have married once and we have been together over 40 years now. It seems that I did all my experimenting before I married whereas they all fucked around afterwards!
What I did with the lads at the tin mish and youth club dances was to whet my appetite so much so, it’s why, that when at 14 I met Tom I was to be so easily led.

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Aside

Joy, A Willing Victim. intro…

12 Feb

Joy: a willing victim!

DCIM100MEDIA

I still have a lot to do…121247.com blocked my last membership because of the content of my diary- A willing Victim –  where I was recounting what  were my teenage years as a … well…basically a fuck slut…where I let anyone that wanted to, especially if my boy friends said so, fuck me!!!

I must point out here and now that at no time did any of these lads force me to do any thing I didn’t want to do. Everything I did, I did willingly with enthusiasm because I got to enjoy everything associated with sex so much.

For some of it I was so obviously underage and they, the moderators of 121247 did not like that!!!

Neither did they like some of the photographs I posted!

Just as a matter of interest I tried joining the site again and to my surprise they let me do so. Hey Ho. I thought, and as I had enjoyed writing and talking about my sexploits I thought that if enough of you remembered me and wanted to carry on with the dialogue we had, I would communicate by email, so that this doesn’t happen again – the site blocking me.

The original diary on re reading it was a series of unconnected rambles around my memory of those years…My intention now is to put it all in chronological order, starting with my very first fumble and ending with my marriage in my twentieth year; which was when I finally stopped fucking around.

It is difficult for me to write this up as so much of it was concurrent and overlapped. I often had several boy friends at the same time – none knowing of the other. Though having said that I think that some did know!

In the early days events at the tin mish were at the same time and (to me now so obviously so) part of my grooming by Tom to be the possible star turn at one of his parties.

He did a good job because any form of sex became my way of life…I enjoyed it so much I could never say no! I didn’t want to say no!

Some of the men I got involved with may even have prostituted me, I will never know for sure. It is with the benefit of hindsight that I think that may have been going on; I did not realize it at the time.

Then I met the man that was to become my husband he has no idea of the life I had led and that he was possibly my saviour from a life of what had become sexual debauchery; maybe, thinking back about my time in the  Manchester card schools, even as  unpaid unknowing prostitution.

There is a lot to recount. If any of you have any questions or want points clarified or even just to make comment, please feel free to do so no matter how personal…I will try to be as frank and candid with my response as I can taking into account me maintaining some sort of anonymity…Ok?

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